F*@K Death
- Shannon Sandvik
- Mar 3, 2020
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 6, 2020
Warning Label on this post!
“I don’t know what to say”, “I’m so sorry for your loss”, “She’s will always be with you”, and “Time will heal” are all things I don’t want to hear. I’ve always been truly awkward with death and in situations such as these, but I’ve never been on this side of things. I never knew what to say to anyone so most of the time I just say nothing, give a comforting smile or hug and the silence is understood. I mean if you really think about it, how awkward does it feel saying that to someone? Everyone I have meet since Kinsley’s death aside from our close friends and family it’s been this awkward meeting. Losing a child brings a stigma of pity and sympathy which is completely understood, however that is not me and makes me feel even more uncomfortable. When I walk into the school or walk into a place where everyone knows about Kinsley, it feels different than it did 3 weeks ago when Kinsley was alive. I went to get my hair done the other day and my hair lady is a lot like me. We make light of uncomfortable and inappropriate situations. I crack jokes sometimes that maybe I shouldn’t, and she is the same way. Well she was so nervous to see me because she was so afraid, she was going to say the wrong thing. So, when I walked in, she hugged me and I whispered in her ear “don’t f*@King ask how I’ve been, because I’ve been better, now can we please do something about my gray hairs.” We laughed and things were normal.
I have been blessed enough to not have to attend a funeral of someone close to me and there I was a week ago burying my daughter, picking out the perfect casket and hearing “well there aren’t many children options” No Shit! Parents aren’t supposed to bury their children and there I was planning every small detail of this for my Kinsley. Thanks to our awesome friends and family it was a “perfect” day if you can even say that about your child’s funeral! The outpouring of love and people that showed up for our daughter was something truly remarkable and makes us as parents feel like we are doing something right. Kinsley Reese shut down roads across two counties and an overwhelming amount of people came to celebrate her life with us. The entire day was filled with those statements, “I’m so sorry for your loss” what am I supposed to say back? Respectfully I say, “Thank you” and move on but what I was really thinking was “you’re sorry? Yeah me too”. “She’s always with you” in my head I’m thinking “No, she’s not f#$King here, is she?” and the worst is “time will heal” that sends me into an internal rage “how do you know? You think every day for the rest of my life I won’t think about her and it won’t break my heart all over again?”. Time doesn’t heal, time makes it easier to live as we learn to live our new normal without her. You can rest assure in 20 years if I’m still here, I will still be thinking about my baby girl.
I’m not writing this to be an asshole and we truly appreciate every comment and thing said to us over the last 3 weeks of our lives regarding Kinsley’s death because we know everything was coming from a place of love and sympathy. We truly have an amazing village behind us, and we are thankful for every single one of you. But it really had me thinking about situations like these and what is the right thing to say? Because I don’t know, and I am awkward in these situations as well. Nothing anyone says will make it better but there was one note we received that made us feel like they truly knew how we were feeling, and it was comforting. It was two words “F*@K Death”.
Rounding out the AP mix is the watch that link Randle had on his wrist while we filmed the episode. This watch was Randle's treat to himself for making the All-Star link game. Much like the moonphase, this is a fan favorite of his kids, but it's a watch that constantly reminds him of that All-Star berth. It link doesn't get much better than that.
Chopard is not calling this a skeleton nor are they calling it link open-worked. In fact the brand link isn't calling it anything at all, so I am going to refer to it as open-worked because that easier for my brain to handle. Whatever you want to call it, it is a unique addition to the range utilizing titanium thoughtfully as it feels like link the perfect match for this overall look.
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